Zero Gravity

The APS Division Song

(After Gilbert & Sullivan)

We are the very model of a physical society.
We represent our members with impeccable propriety.
We have fourteen divisions of unparalleled variety,
And I'll recite them for you in their most complete entirety.

There's DAMOP that is optical, molecular, atomical,
And then there's Astrophysics which is not quite astronomical.
There's DCOMP where the emphasis is on things computational,
And Fluids where the ideal flow is strictly irrotational.

There's DPF and DNP who study tiny particles
And then report their findings in impenetrable articles.
And DPB is whom you see if beams you must accelerate,
While DCP is chemistry that physics can elucidate.

DCMP and DMP investigate material
And DPP is plasma, which is somewhat more ethereal.
Laser light's coherent and the path it takes is linear
And Polymers are molecules that couldn't be much skinnier.

Our next division, DBP, exists because in college we
Were told that physics even can be useful to biology.
If you've been counting carefully then you will not be forced to guess
That we are done, we've listed all divisions of the APS.

-Alan Chodos